Motives

There are a lot of things in life that can be done for the right reasons or for the wrong reasons. That is something that I've been thinking about in the last little bit. I often feel like I start to do something for the right reasons, but when I realize what else I stand to gain from the action I start to question my motives even back until the beginning of the act. My spiritual director pointed out to me that our motives will always be mixed and we always need to pray for God to further purify them.

I just realized in the last couple days that that whole concept is important to something else I hadn't connected it with; relationships. There are two main reasons to be in a romantic relationship (that is if we disregard reasons that are straight out wrong ie money status ect.) these are intimacy (both emotional and physical) and discernment for marriage. Some might say that it is also fun but what is our reason for wanting this particular fun? It is the intimacy. Now these days the secular world will tell us that it is ok for our romantic relationships to just be a way of seeking intimacy, but from a Christian perspective that can't be the point.

Now I'm not saying romantic relationships can't have intimacy that just wouldn't work. What I'm saying is that intimacy is the wrong reason for seeking or being in a romantic relationship. So how do we know when our motives are so impure that they could be destructive in a romantic relationship, well I think if one can pause and detach their mind from the promise or reality of intimacy as a reason for the relationship in question and there is still enough promise in the discernment for marriage to make it viable. I see that as the minimum but it is better to strive to go beyond that always longing and praying to have purer motives just like in the other situations.

God bless,
Jordan

Time and such

Time is a funny thing, it can fly when your having fun, it can seem to slow almost to a halt, a week can zoom by but when you look back it seems like Monday was ages ago, and sometimes you just want time to give you a break so you can skip to the next fun, exciting, or particularly purposeful thing you expect to happen to you.

In the past while I've been doing a lot of looking forward to many things, often it is harmless anticipation but sometimes when I forward too much to something that's too far off I start to trap myself in a bad mind set, because it is always easy to paint a picture of the future that looks better than the present, but if you anticipate that more then you appreciate the present then you're missing the point because the one thing about time that's always the same is, once you've spent it, it's gone.

I'm going to try something and invite everyone to join me. Ask yourself, what are you looking forward to most right now? How far off is it? Too far?

What is the next thing you're looking forward to even if you are just looking forward to it just a little? How far of it that? That's a little better isn't it? What are you doing between now and then? Is everything you are going to do in that time going to be un-enjoyable?

If so why are you doing it all? If not what about it are you going to enjoy most? Why aren't you looking forward to that? Can you look forward to it if you try? Now take a closer look between now and then, find what you will enjoy most about that time, can you look forward to that?

I think you get where this is going, if you can repeat this until you are thinking about whatever it is you are going to do when you stop reading this blog then you are off to a good start (if not you may just be about to do one of those thing that we all have to that we just won't like no matter how we think about it).

I need to learn to take joy from where I am in life right now regardless of where that is. I think that is a lesson lots of people need to learn. I've made a few steps in the right direction in the last couple months but I've got a long way to go.

I come to think that it is an important part of being mature. When we mature we take on responsibilities and while we often won't take stuff on till well after we could do it, but just taking on responsibility a quick as we can isn't want it means to be mature. We need to learn to take joy from the responsibilities we take on, that's the only way growing up won't suck. As we grow we lose the carefree play time of childhood and while we will always have and need some time to relax our lives will be bleak unless we learn to see the good in the responsibilities that fill our lives. If we learn to appreciate the responsibilities in our lives faster then we take them on then we're in for some fun times.

May you all see the beauty of what God has given you...Right now! :P,
Jordan