Motives

There are a lot of things in life that can be done for the right reasons or for the wrong reasons. That is something that I've been thinking about in the last little bit. I often feel like I start to do something for the right reasons, but when I realize what else I stand to gain from the action I start to question my motives even back until the beginning of the act. My spiritual director pointed out to me that our motives will always be mixed and we always need to pray for God to further purify them.

I just realized in the last couple days that that whole concept is important to something else I hadn't connected it with; relationships. There are two main reasons to be in a romantic relationship (that is if we disregard reasons that are straight out wrong ie money status ect.) these are intimacy (both emotional and physical) and discernment for marriage. Some might say that it is also fun but what is our reason for wanting this particular fun? It is the intimacy. Now these days the secular world will tell us that it is ok for our romantic relationships to just be a way of seeking intimacy, but from a Christian perspective that can't be the point.

Now I'm not saying romantic relationships can't have intimacy that just wouldn't work. What I'm saying is that intimacy is the wrong reason for seeking or being in a romantic relationship. So how do we know when our motives are so impure that they could be destructive in a romantic relationship, well I think if one can pause and detach their mind from the promise or reality of intimacy as a reason for the relationship in question and there is still enough promise in the discernment for marriage to make it viable. I see that as the minimum but it is better to strive to go beyond that always longing and praying to have purer motives just like in the other situations.

God bless,
Jordan